Processing Feelings

Hey guys!!!

What's up

  First things first, I'd like to apologize for taking ages to post something other than the weekly updates, life's been busy, over-whelming and kinda crazy. One thing that I've learned through all this process is to let go and today we're going to talk about it in a deeper level and also how I'm still doing it.

  From my weekly update posts you can get a pretty good view of how my life has got messy and out of control. I guess it all started when I decided to move abroad and to do so I need to save money thus I thought that working all day long everyday would be the best way to do it and actually it is but since I'm not satisfied with the school that I work for, for a number of reasons it seems like all these reasons got worse, since I wasn't acting on them within myself. Luckily I've come my senses and now I'm learning how to welcome this experience with openness and curiosity but most importantly with the willingness to learn something about myself with all of this.

  Since the semester started I've been trying to control every little thing in my life while dealing with people at work, home and college. What I didn't think about was the possibility of all these things falling apart and eventually they did, with it came a lot of suffering, doubt and hard emotions. I shouldn't doubt myself after all I've been through and I know that although there's something that I couldn't understand and that thing is how much damage my attempt to control things could do. I'm learning that letting things go is not something easy to do but they are worth it because it can set you free. At times I feel like situations and people dominate me, so I feel lost but just as quickly I remember I'm free, nothing and no one can undo me if I don't let them and in this moment I feel like waking up.

  Ever since, I've tried to take my time, listen to myself to find a way out of it. At some point I've given up on my life and it was messing up with my head. We shouldn't accept things just because we think we need them, we're free and conditions shouldn't change that. Jobs, Family or Relationships do not define us, actually we've got to learn how to cope with them just the way they are, we don't have any power over them, to change people and the key the I've found to get out of it was learning to let go, to not listen to anyone else's voice at times not even mine own, like everyone else I also have got an inner saboteur and we must learn how to turn down these voices, I'm still learning. I'm still learning how to focus only on myself, on my actions because that I know I can change.

  When we understand that people are going to do what they wanna do despite of what you want or expect and also that we can't change anyone but us, we can find freedom. I feel like I've awaken because now I understand that suffering is part of life and it is okay to feel sad and depressed and we shouldn't say we're fine just because you don't wanna make people uncomfortable and if you do say you're fine when you're not deep inside you know that you're just trying to avoid a awkward conversation and exposing yourself, our feelings are precious and we must take care of them because taking care of your emotions means that you're taking care of yourself. 

  Now when I feel like I'm about to freak out again I just stop and go to a window to appreciate the view or I turn off everything and just meditate and if I'm at home, I play with my dog and my bunny or simply take a walk. The possibilities are endless and what might work for me might not work for you so you gotta keep trying and just don't give up like I have. Be kind to yourself because to be honest you're the only one who cares, no one could ever feel our pain and if we don't healthily process them they will eat us alive and that I know for a fact. I'm on my way somewhere unknown but I want to get there peacefully, being true to my true nature.

That's all folks,

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Douglas Migliassi