Driving Exams In Brazil Are Nothing But A Huge Scam!

   Most people I've met have told me how luck I am for being a perfectionist but from my experience it has proven to be more of a curse than a blessing. Last week I had my final driving exam, the final step for me to get my driver's license and I failed. I failed a test that is openly and undoubtedly rigged. I mean, the amount of energy and time (and money) you spend on this process is ridiculous. I'm not saying it should be easy but it certainly could use some improvement. Mainly 'cause the whole process is full of money extortion and corruption involved. Brazil has been fighting big corruption scandals for so long that it feels like "minor" and day-to-day bribes are flying under the radar by the authorities. It is something you'll never know until you go through it and trust me it doesn't feel good.

  To get things started, you go to a "Auto-Escola" which is like a 'Driving School', where you get trained on driving or at least where you should, they will charge you around R$ 600 (U$ 145,63) Then, you'll pay another (large) amount of money to another school in which you'll be attending driving classes, called "CFC" and that will cost you R$ 450 (U$109,22). But before you start the classes you gotta take one (quick and noneffective) health exam, one psychological exam and regardless of you score you'll most certainly pass, these exams will cost you around R$ 118 (U$ 45,63). Once you're done with the health-exams,the classes,the (paid) written test, the driving lessons, you'll be able to take the final (paid) driving exam. In total, I've paid out R$ 1.300,00 (U$ 315,52 ) and from the day I filled in my application at 'Detran', the DMV of Brazil to today it has been five months and I stilll haven't got my license.

And I'm not a terrible driver, I promise!!!

  The day of the final exam I knew one of the two following things could happen. One, my examiner would be a honest professional interest in getting to know if I had the basic abilities to be driving on my own or two he'd be an asshole as people have told me before who would be looking for compensation for letting me pass. As it turns out (and predicted) I got the second scenario. I've dedicated a lot of time to learn how to be a decent driver so I knew I could pass without paying any kickbacks (which is something strikingly common in every state in Brazil, I'm in Sao Paulo by the way). The route of the exam was easy and I had already seen it the day before of my exam, my brother took me there so I could drive there for a while as practice. I felt ready and I was in a very enthusiastic state of mind. Which is not a state I'm used to.  

  When they called my name to inform that I'd be the next, I felt nothing, I just patiently stood on the sidewalk waiting the examiner to pull over so I could get in the car. I got in the car, I handed him my papers and ID, greeted him and got on the basic procedures before turning on the engines. He carelessly replied and then said "You can go", I wasn't ready yet...(Giant eye-roll) I was adjusting the rear-view mirror and I made sure to take my time doing it. I started the car and switched to the second gear and as I got closer to the parking area, he said where I should park, I stopped the car and gave the signal to the right and he immediately said to me that I should've done it sooner and I think (SHIT) but it sounded as if he was giving me a notice so I relaxed and kept on going. I parked and to my liking it wasn't perfect, I could pass but the little-perfectionist-demon inside me told me to get out and do it again, I said it to the examiner and he looked at the side mirrors and said okay so I took it as a confirmation that it wasn't good enough even though I knew it was. 

  Unfortunately, the second time around was worse and I said that I was going to do it again ('cause I could use reserve three times) and as I'm leaving the parking spot the car hits the bottom of one of the orange cones they put there to help us park and for them it is a disqualifying mistake. So, the examiner turned off the car, pulled the emergency breaks and told me to get out. He returned my papers saying that I failed and that I should come back to the starting point where people from my driving school will inform me what to do next. When I emotionless tell them I failed they already knew I would and not because I wasn't good but because I haven't paid the bribe. I then without feeling any normal emotion to a person who's just failed a test, I went back to the line I was before the exam and tell the guys who came with me I failed and before I can finish my story they say they failed too. We were pissed about the reasons that they gave us to justify failing us, one of the guys failed because he unintentionally hit the horn of the car. 

  We knew what they wanted from us and as reluctant as I was to give it to them I saw for myself that the test was designed to coerce you to pay out to pass. We can see that before people's exams, examiners, driving school owners and instructors talk and even during some tests, they stand in the back suspiciously mumbling stuff to each other, we can't hear what they say but we know it is not something legal. 

  I'll be able to take the test again in two weeks but I've decided to take it next year, as I said before the amount of time spent on this was a lot and I'm mentally and physically tired of it so I can't keep trying this year since I'm focusing on other projects. I also decided to pay "The Extra" (which is around R$ 1.000,00 | U$ 242,71 ) to have the peace of mind that during my exam they won't be making up useless reasons to fail me. It's not fair but hey, living in a country like Brazil, specially in a huge city like Sao Paulo you learn that life here has nothing to do with fairness.