Goodbye Scott Rest In Peace Angel

   This week on September 12th a terrible tragedy has happened. Scott fell from the window of my Laundry Room from the 8th floor. The fall killed him instantaneously. Today completes a week without him and I can guarantee you that I`ve never felt this broken before. I miss him every day, all day long. I built a place where I could visit him and perhaps lesser the pain of his loss. I buried him here in the building green area, the staff let me do it. I planted Red Roses and Succulents, put a fence around his grave and decorated it with white stones. 

   I`ve been visiting him every other day now. The first four days I went there everyday and it wrecked me every time I came back and I couldn`t bring him home with me, I know for a fact that I`ll never get over this loss and I don't have to but I do hope that one day I won't cry every time that I remember him or something related to his death circumstances which I had no control of or even the idea he'd do something like this. I`m doing the best I can to cope with this tragedy and keep going. But I won't lie to you. When he died a part of me went away with him. But he taught me a lot of things and made me a better person. More patient and caring. And Flora loved her brother. She is always walking around the house as if she's trying to find him. 

  He was my son and he was under my care. The last thing you'd want as a Parent or in my case a Pet Parent is to put your Children/Pets in any kind of danger. I thought I could and I was protecting him from everything bad that could happen to him but I wasn`t. He tried to go after another cat. Well, a girlfriend. He was turning 1 year old next month so he was very agitated and energetic. The day it happened people tried to advise me to adopt another cat but I wasn't even ready to think about this possibility. Because losing him was the hardest thing that has ever happened to me and the thought of history repeating itself closed my mind and heart to this possibility.

  However everytime I visit Scott I can't help thinking about it. About adopting the girlfriend he was looking for. She won't ever replace him she will be a continuation of him and I`ll be able to give her the love Scott cultivated inside of me for cats over the past year, I`ve got all this love for cats now and he's gone, I need to keep doing what I always do which is to give love and care to everyone and everything around me, If you know me in person you know I ain't lying. This love Scott brought up needs to be passed on to another one. I can see that now after talking to many of my students and receiving their advices. I even know where I will go to adopt my new baby-cat, One of my students will take me to this place where I can choose, well, I believe they choose us. In two weeks I'll be going to this place to bring home Flora`s new sister.

  Scott is here in spirit now and sometimes we listen to him, I`ve heard him meowing twice and my boyfriend heard his paw-steps so I have my beliefs and you might not share them with me and that's okay but it brings me comfort to know and experience someone you love trying to communicate with you from another place. This communication is not only by making sounds but also I can read the signs that life shows me every now and then and somehow I realize that I`m not sad because I`m feeling guilty, I`m sad because I miss him.

I Miss Him!!! That's all. And that I always will. 

Rest In Peace Baby